My Yoga Journey

Growing up, I would never have thought yoga would be part of my future.

I steered well away from anything vaguely athletic from a young age. I was a musician, and as is often the case, that became my comfort zone. My sister was the sporty one and being a competitive eldest daughter, I refused to do anything that I might not be the best at.

Fast forward to my teen years, exercise became something unpleasant but necessary in order to lose weight. This was also my first experience of yoga, during a school gym class. It couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable - stillness and strange music, whilst being faced with the body I didn’t remotely like as I tried to put my body in poses that didn’t feel great. I was not a fan.

Skip a couple of anxious, fear filled, desperate university years and I encountered yoga again whilst at a gym. This time I was in the grips of an eating disorder, spending the majority of my time not working at the gym - I didn’t want to spend a second of time not doing something that could be changing my body and recognised there was a maximum amount of spin classes I could tackle in one day.

Yoga started to become a respite from all sorts of things - relationships, food, work, my mind - so started to take a priority. I dipped in and out of studios and in person classes, instead leaning on online classes where I didn’t feel so intimidated by other body shapes, where I could scream in frustration or cry from fear.

I signed up for one yoga teacher training, wanting to learn more something that had felt like a bit of a lifeline but chickened out a couple of days in because I felt so uncomfortable in my body, I could barely function.

So why am I sharing this?

Yoga is intimidating. It can appear boring. Cliquey. It’s just stretching. “I’m not flexible enough.” “I don’t have the right body, the right clothes.” “I’m not calm enough or zen enough or selfless enough.”

I’ve been there. I haven’t always loved yoga. I haven’t always approached it with a wholesome outlook. I still rarely feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m not vegan, I drink and I don’t always recycle as much as I should.

I want you to know that whatever your reason for wanting to practice yoga and however you want to practice is all cool.

You do you. Hopefully we can groove together on the mat sometime :)